The story behind Loving Hands is really the story of my Mother’s grief of losing her daughter, Holly.
My sister, Holly, was killed in a accident in 1988. After a few years of living the town where she died, the pain became too great and my family left, chasing happiness in a new place. But Holly stayed behind.
She has a beautiful gravesite. A pink granite bench with a big vase for florals attached. It’s situated under one of the few big oaks in the cemetery. There’s a little ceramic house under the bench with a bunny and a small place for more flowers that my Mom added. Her beautiful face is memorialized on the top of the bench in the school photo from the year she died.
My mother had a ritual when she would visit. She would scrub clean the entire bench and all the items using water from the reflecting pool. Remove the old flowers, add new ones. And sit and mourn the little girl she lost. She told me recently, as I began creating this business, that she passed the cemetery every day on the way home from work and she would visit her every day. She said she had a difficult time leaving her. She said it was not healthy or helping her.
When we moved away that ritual became more painful. There was more to clean. Her girl’s bench was dirty; there was dirt and grime on her face. The flowers would look old and faded; sometimes they were missing. To my mother, seeing Holly's grave that way felt as though no one was caring for her little girl anymore. The distance brought sadness and helplessness that remains with her.
It was not practical or reasonable or healthy to stay there to be in proximity to Holly’s grave. But leaving her grave untended at intervals has proven to be one of my mother’s greatest sources of pain and regret in her life.
I know what real, loving care of a gravesite looks like. And I know what it means to have someone there providing that care when you can't. My mother never had that option. Loving Hands exists so that other families do.
When you entrust your loved one's resting place to me, you can count on it being cared for with the same attention and respect I would want for Holly.